1. Do you remember when you first met someone that you really wanted to know? Please share the story.

There is a lot of advice out there about what is the best way to grow a relationship with someone. A quick Google search revealed that this must be a major concern for people. There were websites that answered this search related to health, church, psychology, marriage, parenting, self-help, and improvement. At the very least, we can say that there is a lot of advice out there as to the best ways to grow a relationship.

2. What have you done to grow a friendship?

3. What has gotten in the way of growing a friendship with someone?

The Apostle Paul speaks of his desire to know Christ more fully in Philippians 3:3-9, “For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh – though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.” 

The Apostle Paul is making it pretty clear here that we do not get to start our relationship with God based on our own righteousness, but we can start our relationship with what Jesus has done for us. Our righteousness will not save us, but we can put our trust in Christ to save us. Our acceptance is based upon what Christ has done for mankind and nothing more.

4. What are some of the things that the world believes will grow you spiritually?

5. What are the things that the church groups believe will grow a person spiritually?

6. We often list things like reading my Bible, praying, attending church, and getting into a Growth Community, but do you know people who have tried these things and did not grow spiritually? Why?

7. What are the things that you have tried to do to help you grow spiritually? Did they work? Why or why not?

Philippians 3:10-11 continues, “That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”

We can see here that Paul had a deep desire to know Christ. This is very similar to the desire that we should exhibit in concern of our spiritual growth. However, for many, they come into this spiritual growth relationship holding on to their own righteousness. It is just like Paul who had mentioned that he had a really good education, came from the right family, and was from God’s chosen people, “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him.” We too often see people holding onto their self-worth and good works as a way to spiritual growth.

Moreover, some demonstrate a spiritual pride that also gets in the way of spiritual growth. Philippians 3:12-14 reads, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

8. Why do you think Paul was explaining that he had not already “arrived” spiritually?

9. What are the downfalls of spiritual pride? Is it something that you struggle with?

10. How can these verses help you fight against spiritual pride?

We have to be careful that our relationship with Christ is not based upon just “becoming a Christian.” It is just like our earthly relationships that do not stop with becoming a friend, parents, or spouses. There is more to the relationship than the initial act of becoming a Christian. When we lead someone to Christ, we must make sure that they understand that we need to have a healthy, growing relationship. This is because many fall into a spiritual pride that says, “I have made it; I am saved!” Paul was saying that he had not made it yet. There were many people, in his time and ours, who believed that they had reached spiritual perfection on this side of Heaven, or they stopped growing their relationship at the beginning stage and were proud of it.

It seems pretty clear that we often grow in the areas that we focus on. If I want to grow a relationship with my parents, teacher, teammate, or friend, I have to focus on that relationship. Paul takes it a step further by making an analogy to a physical race in Philippians 3:13-14, “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

11. Do you have the desire to know Him more?

12. What is getting in the way of your focus on growing a relationship with Christ?