Devotion 6: Dear Parents
Pastor Ryan Story
Recently, my wife and I were reading a book called “Read Aloud Family” by Sarah Mackenzie. One of the quotes that really stuck out to both of us was the notion that parents love control. Mackenzie uses an agrarian example of growing a seed and states, “Don’t demand the seed blossom before its time. Your job is to plant, water and nurture.” This really hit me. I value education, character development, and the God-given task of nurturing my kids so they grow to know the Lord and they make an impact for His kingdom.
When Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” I had a new way of looking at this verse in light of hearing the perspective that it is God who brings growth. It truly humbled me to realize that I needed to change my heart. While I would love to say my parenting life is the “ideal,” I feel what every parent can feel about raising kids: it is hard to remain patient while waiting for your child to grow. I often reflect on the moments of immense pride and overwhelming joy all us parents experience watching our children acquire new skills, whether that be walking, riding a bike, or learning to read.
In recent weeks, my wife and I have encountered a mounting frustration regarding our four-year-old son's potty training journey. This particular experience has been a stark contrast to our older children, who seemed to pick it up with relative ease. The ongoing struggles have left me feeling disheartened and self-conscious, as if our parenting skills were under scrutiny or judgment. It’s a common feeling, I believe, when one child deviates from the typical milestones that others in the family, or even peers, seem to achieve effortlessly.
Amidst these challenging moments, the profound and simple truth resurfaced in my mind, offering a much-needed perspective shift: I can only "plant, water, and nurture.” This powerful realization serves as an important reminder that while we, as parents, are responsible for providing the necessary environment, tools, encouragement, and love, we ultimately cannot control our children's growth. Just as a gardener cannot force a seed to sprout before its time, we cannot compel a child to grow. Our role is to create the conditions for growth, to offer consistent support and guidance, and to trust that, in due time, they will flourish.
As parents, we have to shift our focus from control to trust. So, next time you feel frustrated because your kids aren’t where you think they should be, remember it is your job to plant, water, nurture, and, most importantly, trust God. Have faith in the plans that He has for you and your children.