Devotion 5: Do You Love Me More Than This?

David Hudgens

Whenever I read Jonah’s prayer from the belly of the fish, I can’t help but see my own journey with the Lord in it. Jonah had run from God’s calling because he didn’t want to walk the path the Lord had set before him. Similarly, although I didn’t run to Tarshish, like Jonah, in my mid-twenties, I was running all the same.

At that time, my personal faith and obedience to Christ were growing. I loved Jesus, and I wanted to serve Him. I sensed a calling on my life, and I assumed it had to be through music. And what I knew for sure was that I didn’t want it to look like my dad’s calling (he was a preacher). Now, I didn’t resent preaching; I just didn’t want to “be my dad.” So, I closed my ears to anything that might even hint at that direction and ran toward my own vision.

The tricky part is that my path looked godly on the surface. You see, I was pursuing worship ministry. I played, sang, and led anywhere I could: church gatherings, retreats, youth events, but I wasn’t seeking the Lord for His will for my life. I was assuming His will, and over time, it left me deeply unsatisfied.

As time went on, I saw others who I thought had less talent and/or spiritual maturity being given opportunities I believed I deserved. I grew bitter, asking God, “Why don’t I get to serve You like they do? Why does no one recognize my gifts?” Slowly, my frustration was poisoning my relationships, my marriage, my friendships, even my service at church all suffered.

Then came the breaking point. My band at the time, my closest friends, one by one told me they were done. They weren’t interested in the music we were making anymore. I was devastated and unfortunately my despair led to one particularly harsh argument with my wife. After this, I finally broke down before the Lord and let Him “have it.” I poured out all my anger, my disappointment, my confusion. When I had finally said my piece, I sensed the Holy Spirit ask me one piercing question, “Do you love Me more than music?”

In that moment, like Jonah in the belly of the fish, I wept. Jonah prayed, “When my life was fainting away, I remembered the LORD, and my prayer came to You, into Your holy temple” (Jonah 2:7). That was me. God revealed to me that I had made music my idol, my object of worship. I was pursuing the gift more than the gift-Giver. And just like Jonah, when I surrendered, the Lord delivered me.

Jonah ends his prayer with the words: “Salvation belongs to the LORD!” (Jonah 2:9). The fish spit him out, and then we read: “Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah the second time” (Jonah 3:1). God, in mercy, gave Jonah another chance.

That’s what God did for me. After breaking my idol, He gave me a second chance, and not first as a worship leader, but as a student pastor, helping me learn to teach the Word to shepherd people. For six years, music took a back seat and then, in His perfect timing, God called me into full-time worship ministry, but this time not to serve music, but to serve Him.

Friends, Jonah’s story and mine share the same truth: when we run, whether away from God or ahead of Him, He is merciful. He breaks us, restores us, and calls us again to His will and purpose.

So let me ask you, is there something, perhaps even a good thing, that has become your idol? Is there a place you’re running on your own instead of being sent by the Lord? Consider Jonah’s words again, “Salvation belongs to the LORD.” Our God is the God of second chances.